happy birthday luca

happy birthday luca! 03 september 2003. just about a month early, depending on who you talk to. and aubrey and i are parents. just like that! 8 hours after i woke up that morning seeing aubrey sitting up in bed rubbing her tummy saying, "i think i'm having contractions..."

that's how it started. i jumped out of bed, packed a bag real quick and the thoughts in my head started. oh my god, he's coming, he's coming... aubrey called valeria, our midwife and she sounded a bit worried that it was so early. i was instructed to run out to the pharmacy and buy some pills that would slow down and stop the contractions that were about 10 minutes apart. when i got home, aubrey was still on the phone with her; she took a pill, and the midwife called the doctor who did our ultrasounds 2 days earlier. after the doctor said that luca looked great from the last scan, the midwife said ok, grab a cab and come to the office.

we did just that. as soon as we got in, aubrey was checked out by the midwife. she finished the exam, put her hand on her leg and sighed. then said, "well....... you're about five centimeters." aubrey teared up a bit. at this point the pills would do nothing. we were having the baby! this was at 10am.

we went to a quiet room in the office and sat on the big pillows and just relaxed. her contractions were getting a bit stronger, but still about 8-9 minutes apart. at 1130 when the midwife finished her last appointment we were called back in for another check. she didn't say anythiing right away, just told aubrey to relax. then she sent me out to the pharmacy again to get the stuff that we hadn't bought yet (since we thought we still had another month or so left to go...) i heard her say in italian to the secretary that she was at 7 centimeters now.

i ran to the pharmacy, panting and panting, my heart getting faster. of course there was a line. as i handed off the list to the pharmacist she was taking her sweet time getting it ready. i was having a hard time thinking period, let alone in italian to communicate with her. i said, "oh, il bimbo sta arrivando adesso!" (the baby is coming now!) then they picked up the pace a bit. i got back to the office and i caught a cab, aubrey rode with the midwife in her smart car to the clinic.

along the ride i had a conversation with the cab driver about fatherhood (he has 3 kids), being involved in the birth, and that i have to raise luca a roma fan, not lazio. (the roma-lazio rivalry is comprable to a yankees-mets thing) i said ok, forza roma, and left the cab.

i filled out the paperwork as aubrey and valeria headed upstairs. after about 20 minutes i was in the room. there was a couch in the corner, we had our own bathroom, and balcony with a nice view of some trees. this was about 1230pm. the contractions were getting a bit harder, but still not too bad. valeria came in, got some things set up, followed shortly by dr grimaldi. we all said hello, and grimaldi said, "i guess luca didn't want you to miss the birth, justin. now you can go to slovakia in peace." he checked her out, and said she was at full dialation 10 centimeters. he said it in italian to valeria, with a strange face, like something was wrong, and he didn't want us to know. valeria looked at him and said in english, "don't make that face!" aubrey told me later she had to concentrate to block out that face he made...

in and out went valeria and grimaldi, as the contractions got harder. grimaldi came back with lunch, and then coffee, and then laid down on the couch, sunglasses and all. at this point the contractions got closer together and harder. i;ve never seen aubrey, or anyone really, in that much pain in my life up close and personal. feeling helpless and emotional and not wanting to imagine what she was going through. but between each one, she sighed and said, "ok, that was a good one!" after about a half hour, i stopped being ridiculous and remembered this pain is the only way for our son to be born. and since aubrey didn't want any drugs (not that valeria would have given her drugs anyway) there was a considerable amount of pain.

so now we're at about 330pm. we move off the bed, i'm sitting in a chair and aubrey is squatting between my legs, holding onto my hands for support. then the contractions got lighter. she had to push mostly on her own will power. it wasn't easy. grimaldi came off the couch, removed his shades, and gave a little help pushing, helping luca down. then, a miracle. at 407pm luca was born! and it was absolutely, the most beautiful, wonderful, emotional and amazing thing i have ever seen, or probably will ever see in my life. i cried my eyes out when i heard him crying for the first time, and felt aubrey's great sigh of relief. valeria cleaned him up a bit, and put him right on aubrey. our little family of 3 sat there cuddling for about 10 minutes in peace. it was beautiful. i was speechless. i couldn't even say hi to luca. the tears were just running down my face.

then i got to do the honors of cutting the umbilical cord. grimaldi, myself and my son headed down to the nursery for his first check-up. everything looked good. his blood sugar level was a little low, and he was light, but he is a preemie, so it's normal. i carried him back to aubrey and we hung out. us. our family. amazing.

i ran home to get the bag of stuff for luca that didn't bring, since we thought only aubrey was going to be in the hospital to stop labor. the clinic is far enough away from our home, so i called another cab. another nice conversation, and another roma fan... i get all the way home, stop for a quick coffee and to tell francesco at the bar that luca was born, and i realize i left my keys in the clinic! i called our neighbor enzo, but he didn't have the keys, and the landlady wasn't answering her calls. so i hopped another cab back to the clinic to grab the keys. this driver was a roma fan, and a roman. i'm talking real roman. we talked about roman names, and antique names, and he said luca was a good one. in between the "cazzos" and "mortacci tuas".

i got back to the room, kissed my boy again, and went off back home with valeria. she had to stop near the termini, so i was going to wait for the 40 bus back home, but instead took a cab after 20 minutes of waiting. called alfonso in the meantime and he offered to pick me up at home and drop me back off at the clinic. so in fact, alfonso and claudia were our first italian friends to see luca!

he did well through the night, although he wasn't latching on properly. we were giving him formula, some sugar solution to boost the blood sugar levels, and he was doing fine. the next day our friend daniella came by in the morning, and later carmen and sara jane. we met a really cool pediatrician, a friend of valeria's, dr armeni. she gave us some tips about breast feeding and what to do in general.

i must say, that this clinic was alright. ok, we had a private room, private bathroom, and luca was able to stay with us always. that, i think, was the most important part. but even the food was not bad. we had pasta, of course, buffalo mozzarella, chicken, minestrone soup and all sorts of other great things. there was a bar downstairs for coffee, cornetti, and tramezzini. the coffee was shit, but at least it wasn't a hospital coffee machine. we only didn't like 2 or 3 nurses who were quite rude, and the rest were great and helpful.

friday we left the clinic. stephen and tonino came by to pick us up and take us home. when we got home, he sent over a woman to clean the house, and did our shopping for us. really, he did too much. he was saying, it's the least we can do for you. but really. again, i'm speechless, and i feel like an idiot saying thank you over and over again, but i don't know how to re-pay him for what he's done for us! aubrey and i are wholeheartedly touched by his kidness, and will never forget it. alfonso came by and took my to get a breast pump and formula and other things. and he paid for that. his first gift to baby luca, he said. our upstairs neighbor sally stopped by in the clinic and brought us sheets for the crib, and later on stopped by the house to drop off her food, as she was leaving for california for a week. claudio and michele stopped by the house last night, and valeria as well to weigh luca again. we've been flooded with emails, and sms messages and phone calls. it's been a bit crazy to say the least.

today, saturday, was a little better. he woke up twice or 3 times in the night, we fed him, and he went back to bed. i made a nice breakfast sanwitch for aubrey and myself (and for luca too, but he didn't eat it until later on!) and then some chicken cutlets and a salad for lunch. he's sleeping now. he's getting a little yellow, and valeria is coming by in about an hour to weigh him again and give us a run-down. if he gets jaundiced worse, we'll have to take him to bambin gesu' children's hospital for a day or two. i'm worried, but i'm not worried. it's just that he's SO small, and helpless, and it's up to us to basically keep him alive for a while. we've got great friends and great doctors and midwives, and i'm not worried. ok, maybe a little, but it's normal. wow, i need some help.

tonight is paul's last night in rome, and phil is coming out tomorrow to replace him. i will probably skip out for an hour to see him off and show off some pics of our beautiful baby boy. his picture will be in la botticella in no time at all!

we'll try to keep you posted as frequently as we can. much love and peace,
justin aubrey and luca!