i woke up this morning at 4am on the nose. not really wide awake, but i knew i couldn't lay in bed anymore. i got up and went online, and found some interesting things. then i went for a walk around 630am to the castel sant'angelo. this happend last week too. same time awake, same sites online, same walk at 630am, same dog with the bum leg (more on that later)

rome is amazing at any time of the day. but early morning sunrises, i am not too familiar with. i've seen a few, or maybe not sunrises persay, but early mornings in general. mostly only when returning to rome from the states, or at the airport picking up someone who is coming over from the states. i certainly am more of a night person, but that's not to say i don't absolutely love everything about the morning. in rome, however, it's even better. roman summers are always hot, but if you've been reading these journal entries you know that this summer is the hottest in 200 years. it was actually a bit chilly this morning. there is no one around during your normal roman summer, only tourists. in the early morning the tourists are still sleeping. i had that bridge all to myself, no purse sellers, passerbys, nothing. aside from your occasional pigeon looking for breakfast. and the lady who has the dog with the bum leg.

last week when this happened to me, i sat the early morning roman sun and thought about my new role in life as a father within the next couple of months. i wasn't really paying attention to anything else, until this dog came up. it was a very excited puppy with a bum back leg. but that didn't stop it from pulling it's owner all over the street. it so happened we were both waiting at the traffic light together to get back to my side of the river on via del banco di spirito santo. the dog was panting and looking very anxious to cross. the light turns green, and we head off. maybe the dog is blind in one eye too, because he didn't see me at all until i started moving. at that point, he lunges at me, in a playful manner of course, but the owner started yelling in italian, "stop it! you can't play with everybody!! stop it!". it was a better way to start off the morning after all.

two days ago we got bad news that the wife of the owner of the hotel where i stayed for a month when i first arrived in rome has died. gino was really my first friend in italy, giving me a place to stay, advice on a constant basis, and a shove in the right direction. after i moved out of the hotel i stopped by every so often to say hello, share a coffee and a story or two. the day that we got the second ultrasound we stopped by. i had heard his wife, pina, had a major appointment the following monday to find out what was wrong. gino was visibly shaken and biting his lips from the inside. it was not an easy thing to see. it turned out she was diagnosed with cancer. she was doing fine, actually, really well. for a few months. then friday night i got a message from claudio who works there, saying she was in bad shape. the next morning, another message that she had died. 2 kids and a husband. late 40s.

that's what i thought about this morning on the bridge at 7am. her death, my son's life. it all seems strange now. as we were learning more about the progression of luca, pina was dying. it's all life, i know, but it makes you think just how precious life is. reading all those pregnancy books they tell you just how hard it is to actually get pregnant. it's like winning the lottery as giovanni said. and it's really a gift.

pina, rest in peace, our thoughts are with you...